What we deserve...
When we look at ourselves in the mirror, what do we see? Do we see disappointment? failure? ugliness? We see too much of our own flaws that no one else sees. It erupts us from the real and true therefore we become our own worst enemies (at times). Crazy doesn't even begin to explain the root of all causes. We're too hard on ourselves, judging and misleading what we think are flaws but may be beautiful to others. We are species that are self-destructive. There's just too many negatives in this world to remove from or abide with. We need to eliminate the thoughts that don't broaden our horizons and gather the ones that do--deeper meaning, viewing and understanding. There's always more to the surface than just those pretty fiery eyes and bubbly smile.
You are art.
I started to seek for light and guidance. To make things make sense, I had to be willing to let my mind showcase all the possibilities that were open. I started to realize that the manipulative will always be manipulative and the liars will always be liars. There was no sense of trying to change or accept that it was "normal." I understand that those who lie are afraid of what it can do to the bond that was created but lying... and thinking that it's okay... how do you sleep at night? How do you let those meaningless words slip out of your mouth and act like they're real? How do you assure that there's trust? That there's real love and connection. Hiding behind words and phrases only to manipulate the other person to believe you when you don't even believe yourself... how can you say you're true as ever but you're too scared to step into the light and let yourself be seen as who you truly are. Are you that damaged? Are you that hideous? Are you that afraid of who you are? Do you feel that you deserve nothing in this world? Or do you honestly think that you're a good person. Whatever it is, fix it. Love yourself. Value yourself. You deserve just that... self-love and acceptance. From you and those around you, always.
I've met far too many people in this lifetime who are too hard on themselves or pretend to be someone they're not. It's not healthy and detrimental to your well-being. It's important for you to stop feeling inadequate because of your self-esteem. Build it. Be bold and beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not good enough. You have to be good enough for yourself. You have to find your self-worth. You are in control. But if you feel that you're not good enough, then you'll never be good enough for anyone else even for yourself.
(You taught me to love myself from every end even to places that I've never imagined you seeing or that I didn't want to reach and now it's time to teach yourself to love all and everything that you are, that you've always been. Be okay with that, love. Just be okay.)
If there's any comparison that needs to be done, let it be between the person in the mirror and the person you desire and were created to be.
When you reflect upon who you are and how you feel, are you happy? If you're not, then what are you going to do about it? Everything stems from something. Take a step back and tell yourself that you are worthy of love, light and happiness. So, don't be afraid. The moment you let fear win, is the moment you lose.
To step out of that "comfort" is considered "bad" and "unorthodox" but to be afraid... that, that will always be normal. Don't let that take you two steps back if you already foresee yourself being so much more than what you are now. The key thing in life is to never give up. We sell ourselves short when we walk away. I always kept mindful of growth and potential in relationships because you honestly never know what can evolve from it. You shouldn't give up when things go bad or when they become too strenuous, you keep pushing until you've reached the top of the mountain. But who said there was only one? There's always twists and turns in life, just be willing to stay patient and let things become what they need to become.
Either it be good or bad, I always somehow found more pieces of me in other people than I ever did within myself. I've learned so much about who I was, another side to me that I didn't believe could be real. And until you experience the pulling and pushing of another soul, you'll never understand. They put their hands into your heart and reach inside to drill or pick apart vessels that you, yourself couldn't do on your own. And this is why people are good for you. Solitude can be good too. Balance is what we deserve. What we need to keep on going. You can never have too much or too little of anything but always keep yourself afloat and paddle through while you can.
We deserve more. More out of people, out of life and love. We settle because that's what we think we deserve but when you set your standards too low, you'll be blinded and not see the open doors or opportunities that come rolling by. If you feel that your life is at its best of light, sit and let it settle in. Improving and wanting more for yourself should never be shamed upon or looked wide-eyed.
We deserve truth. We deserve love. We deserve honesty. We deserve substance. We deserve stability and security. We deserve happiness. We deserve forgiveness. We deserve an answer. Most of all, we deserve peace. Peace of mind. Peace of heart. And peace of all kinds. So let's give that to ourselves.
I'm in it for the long run, are you?
Thank you, Pierre Alex Jeanty, for shedding so much light into my soul and helping me slowly mend my broken heart. After reading "To The Women I Once Loved," I began to dig deeper into comprehending the aspect of why men do what they do. Of course, each to their own but if you're going through it, please read, you won't regret it.
Everyone I know is going through a break up and 2017 barely started, but know that there's more love after this. There's more goodness after this. Continue to keep loving yourself because it's only you in the end who will love you more than anyone else. I love you guys. Thank you so much for the support and love that I've gotten from you all, it means so much to me. We can only go up from here.
xx, missmaichi 💛