I hope you've been having a great start to 2017 and have been doing amazing. We're half way into March, oh how quick the time passes us by. DAYLIGHT savings has been zooming and I feel like the year is almost over. I'm basically 30 already. Okay, I'm being dramatic, but you get the point.
It's time to shine. Your time to find inspiration. Don't stop creating and craving. As I reiterate, the world is yours. You are bright and beautiful. You are the star that will continue to shed its dust even when you disperse into the far, far ends of the galaxy. You are love but you are no longer my light.
It's been a week since my last update and I've been busy. I do apologize for being so caught up in myself but again, you can't expect too much from me. I tweeted out the other day that I felt like my life was under a microscope and the pressure was a bit too high in demand which I've stated out to a friend last week when we went out for pizza and beer. I needed to unplug from the world, settle and relay these past few mishaps that occurred. I just wanted to live.
I spent the weekend with my family and found flashes of creativity. The weather was amazing too! I was able to let the breeze whisk me away and get lost within myself. It was peace, bliss and serenity all in one. I paused for a second and finally let time stop. I looked around and appreciated all that I had then ran towards my niece to play hide and seek. I love them to death and couldn't imagine my life any other way. As we all ran in the tall grass being carefree, it made me feel lifted, weightless and good. It was as if I stopped time again and captured a memory I would replay over and over vividly.
I'm still putting all my effort and time into positivity and acceptance. As much as I would like to to say that I'm great and doing well, I'm actually just coasting. I still miss the very person who broke me (so, so hard). My eyes are becoming less watery but my heart is still sore. I couldn't ever hate the person who helped me find myself besides, we all know how I truly feel anyway.
It's all been emotional waves and sensitivity that's been reoccurring in my days. My grandma has been telling me that when things are meant to be, I'll never feel the complications of force pulling against me, it should only work with me. And I could say that was true. Throughout my entire relationship with him, we both always felt like we were fighting a fight that couldn't be won; constant battle if we should just give up or keep on pushing and in the end... it became something we already knew the ending to. We just kept going against it in hopes that it would work out and be much more, but the truth was always there. We were just running away, together and from each other as crazy as that may be. As I would like to call us, 'almost' - so close, yet so far.
I've been nothing but obsessed with Khalid, been playing his album nonstop and I don't even understand how I'm not tired yet. It's speaking volumes right now. My favorite lines are, "Maybe you weren't the one for me, but deep down I wanted you to be." Take a listen.
This is a new time for me. A time where I only identify myself with only me and no one else.
Today, you let go. (yes... yes it is)
TOP: Hollister Co, Target / BOTTOMS: H&M / FOOTWEAR: Forever 21 / ACCESSORIES: Alex & Ani, The 5th Watches, Tilly's Cap, Choker from Forever 21
Funny story: My idea about this outfit all came based upon the statement piece, the camo jean jacket. Casual right? Simple. I've been on the hunt for this damn thing for three weeks now, but originally the spark came from my nephew's sweater. He wears it often and it triggered a need in me where I had to get a hold of it. It was so fashion forward and timeless. I stopped looking for it after realizing how crappy other materials were then a couple days ago, we went to my second home (target) for baby clothes and bam, I stumbled upon it while we were walking towards the checkout. It's true, the best things come when you're not looking for it. THANK THE LORD, I fit kids sizes! CONTINUE TO BE TRENDY 🤙
#MONDAYMOOD - I burnt my knuckle from the curling iron in the morning. Made an official new friend after class and bonded over our awkwardness. Then he found a ladybug who landed on my cap after talking for a good 30mins or so. Went home after and then, two more ladybugs ended up on me again. Let's call this luck. We both used to have butterflies fly around us every so often and it stopped when the relationship ended. So, what does that mean? Heck, who knows. Symbolism comes in all different shapes and forms. Let's just say this is the 'new awakening' to moving forward, learning to accept the outcome and letting go of what isn't meant for me so I can embrace what is.
I've been connecting really well with new people who has encouraged me to see happiness. My own happiness. I thank you, for giving me so much more than just the dull and ignorance. Plus, the reassurances that I've needed.
May this week be another blessing into the jar. Stay lifted. I love you.
xx, missmaichi 💛