Love will flourish and heal your wounds - it'll take you back to a place only you could dream of, your happy place.
In the arms that puts me together when I can't hold myself, the sunset that blooms into closure, and the wind that pulls my hair away. I can see it creating ripples in the water while the sunlight is gazing at me - that's my happy place,
I present to you, Clear Lakes.
It's been quite some time since I've last been here and talked to you all. How are you? I hope all has been well and productive. Of course, we understand that I've taken some time off this month for some head space. I want to make this chapter better and enhance my lifestyle in ways that can and should improve my future. As my parents constantly stress to me about choices... I want to do more than just the average and prove to myself the life I'm capable of living. With the right support and direction, anything you do is yours and possible, as cliche as that sounds, it's true.
Happy April, by the way! It's the 4th day in, have you done anything you were always afraid to do? Jumped out of your comfort zone? Don't stay stagnant.
I finally jumped into the pool with my sister. I usually get freaked out thinking that I'm going to hit the concrete. We swam and then glazed our eyes over with the moonlight. It was a bit hazy then the stars became so clear and bright after. It made me think about how we used to lay under the stars when we were young in that big house of ours. Our room was so big that our windows displayed beautiful sunlight and moonlight every time the moon or sun would shine. They both complemented each other so well that it always made me appreciate day and night.
We stayed up till 3AM. My brothers, sisters and the boyfriend who is now like our own brother. We talked. We watched the night sky. We ate. And hell sure, laughed and gained more knowledge about our past lives. It's crazy to think how much we've grown and how quickly time has passed; it's as if our age never increased. We are still the same people we were when we were young.
Our last night was spent in the jacuzzi. We cooked up an amazing dinner, but every dinner we have is amazing so... Can I just say, we haven't had 3 course meals in so long that I didn't hate myself for feeling so bloated afterwards. It was absolutely wonderful - our spot is the kitchen. My parents for one are wonderful people. They're the strongest human beings I've ever gotten to know and although it's been a rough upbringing, I thank them everyday of how blessed we are. I don't wish we were anything else than what we are now.
Learning is best when you open up your heart and eyes to hold and have what's in front of you.
I miss the loudness of all of us being together. It was great. My sleep was great. Everything was just perfect.
I've prepped myself mentally for this relaxed place. I left empty handed and came back with a refreshed mindset. I'm not ready for any relationships or processes of any sort that relates to that. I still feel unready and I'm for sure not looking for anything, no rush for love when I've already got all the love I need right here. As I said before, I am sticking to strengthening my relationships with my family and friends this year. I constantly build and cherish the times I spend with them.
Time is ticking, every single day so make the best of it.
I keep losing motivation. Waves of emotions. Constant worries. But I am trying my best to enjoy everything that is coming my way. I am just riding this wave till I can catch a grip again. You're probably wondering how I've been and what I'm feeling. You've guessed it. Better. 7/10.
I haven't been contacting a lot of my good friends since Wednesday of last week and I miss them. I've been keeping close to home and those in the area but now I'm back and trying to see everyone I haven't seen since last month. I'm glad I have friends who check up on me and wish me greatness. It feels great knowing I have support.
My niece. My love. My only baby. All the kids that I've attached myself to, they're my everything. I sometimes forget how important they are when I'm stuck in my head. She's a great subject to shoot when I'm feeling creative and edgy. She's perfect. All the kids are. She's more inclined to tag along with us and she could talk your ears off. She reminds me of myself and every single time she's with us, she continues to become more of me each time. Her spoiled and sense of sassiness is all me.
Get out of your head and take a breather every once in awhile. You learn more about yourself when you're around those who push you harder than you push yourself.
Love is learned.
Find your happy place. People are your lessons to be learned. Your life. Your growth. So keep riding the current and swim against it when you need to. Have a beautiful day!
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xx, missmaichi 💛