How To Self-love and Self-care
Do we self medicate and call it self-love? Do we ease the pain through adrenaline rushes? Or do we run away when things get hard and call it wanderlust?
It's an endless cycle of bad and good shit coming together to create this thing we call life. It comes in pairs and without it, we are unbalanced. Maybe that's why we believe so heavily that there's someone curated just for us. Or are we all just a bunch of hopeless romantics watching too many love movies?
I used to believe that I could handle this, alone, but I can't. Being independent isn't all that gracious, you know? Help is good. So, what do you call it? What does it mean to love one self and take care of their soul?
How do you achieve this "self-love" and "self-care?"
First and foremost, be kind to yourself as you are not perfect and that word couldn't possibly describe how beautiful you actually are. A mess.
The best things in life aren't straight shooters, rather they are the twists and turns that feel like hell. They say that once you get out, the light is the most breathtaking thing you'll ever capture with your eyes. And who am I kidding? I love the light. I love the sun. The breeze. The pretty starry night. Pitch black, in that hole, the hole you desperately wish to be in... is just an easy way out. So fight, till you've lost all of your might. It's better to know than not know at all, right?
Step 1 Worry less and do more
Yes, I know, that's the most difficult thing to do when you're explosive 24/7 thinking about what others are thinking about you BUT truth is they're probably worried about what you're thinking of them. So, in all honesty, what do you really have to worry for? (Cliche to say...but) BE YOURSELF and the right people will come along (that's a bit hard to hear, but it's the truth).
I used to be so hard on myself, thinking about what "I should" be doing and pleasing everyone. Back to one, stop worrying! The less I started to give what others wanted and gave myself what I wanted, the more happier and alive I started to become.
For example, I used to be so self conscious about eating in front of people, but the moment I stopped caring, the more I enjoyed myself. Besides, I love food way too much to let little things like that get in the way of my enjoyment. If I'm going to have my cake, I'm going to devour it.
Step 2 Sleep early if you want to, read a book, take a bath. Go out and explore. The simple stuff, you know?
These little things that we should be doing on a day to day basis goes unnoticed and undone because we're too caught up with other things in our lives. We put people ahead of ourselves because that's just who we are. We're human. Again, we're always HELPING, LENDING A HAND, and GIVING. So, when your body tells you its tired, take a nap. If you're feeling drained, eat some fruits! You're feeling stuck in a rut? Go explore. HIT REFRESH and believe me, you'll feel so much more relaxed and at ease.
I love buying myself some flowers. It brightens up the room and I also feel de-stressed from trimming and placing them into a vase with water. Those little things helps me loosen up. I love to take a bath and light some candles so that I can feel relaxed. The aroma of vanilla and or warm smells takes me to a cozy and sleepy place, something I don't feel too often. Even though these things sounds so simplistic and no brainer, majority of us actually don't even take the time our of our day to do this.
Take care of your body and it will take care of you.
Step 3 give yourself a break
Exactly what it says... GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK! You've worked long and hard today, sit down and put your feet up. You are only one person and you are only human. You can't grab everything in a day and try to do the impossible. You'll tire yourself out and trust me, you're probably going to hate yourself after.
UNWIND and BREATHE. Take one step at a time as tomorrow shouldn't be rushed.
I find that the most simplistic things to do are the most difficult to accomplish. And this, unfortunately is the most strenuous one.
When we think of self-love, what really comes into our minds? Is it our face? Our hands? Our heart? Or do we draw a blank and feel that we must go back to the drawing board? Because if so, we really are lacking some self-love.
My love, there are no RULES or STEPS to loving oneself and knowing the limitation of love. Time does not measure love either. If it takes you years and years to finally accomplish this, then so be it. Love isn't perfected and can't be. It's flawed.
Self-love means giving yourself the light when someone has taken that away from you.
Self-love means reclaiming your thrown.
Self-love means embracing your flaws and being okay with it.
Self-love means knowing you deserve better.
Self-love means knowing when to walk away.
Self-love means appreciating your body, soul and mind for what it is rather than for what it could be.
Self-love is love but with yourself and no one else.
Self-love... embracing your flaws. Ultimately, it's that unconditional love you give to others now this time, it's to yourself.
2017 taught me that self-love and self-care are the most two important factors to have and to strengthen. I lost that at the beginning of 2017 and thankfully found that through my journey. Before you can accomplish and keep stability, you must build a foundation that will withstand the hell and misery that will come unexpectedly. I'm so happy to say that I started 2018 with such beautiful people and a magical vacation.
With that being said, may 2018 bring you all the luck, love, and solid reassurance than you need to keep you going. May it fill your heart up so much that you cry of laughter and happiness. May this year be your year to eat your own cake too.
Happy 2018!🎉 And thank you in advance for another great year!
Some photos shot by me (so happy to be shooting again).
With much love and respect,